July 14, 2019



Here we are just a few weeks into summer and while recently visiting a local craft store, I was stunned by the array of fall colors, artificial foliage, plastic pumpkins and yes even the beginnings of a Christmas display. All this meant only one thing, summer would soon come to an end, but I wasn’t ready to let go. I haven’t been on vacation and God knows I have not taken enough walks in the park, or enjoyed the summer concerts under the stars, but there it was, proof positive that time was marching on and soon the green leaves would become an auburn canopy of colors and the arrival of cooler weather.

While I was a bit taken aback by this giant leap forward on life’s timeline, I realized it was not as out of place as I first thought. Sure, if you try, you can almost count the days, and you can see that there is an unspecified yet finite amount of time to enjoy family and friends.

Letting go is never easy. Moving on is often uncomfortable and takes us out of our comfort zone. Letting go often means major changes in life. Children that, seeming like just yesterday, were holding your hand and relying on you for just about everything, are getting ready to leave the comfort and security of home for a new life away in college.

Like I said, letting go is never easy, and letting go of children heading off to college and living away from home for the first time can be a tough transition. This transition can cause great anxiety, not only for the student, off on a new adventure, but for the parents who are left behind. Parents have to cope with the emptiness at home and all the unscheduled time as a result of not having to be the cook, the taxi driver, and a laundry service for adolescent children.

I have experienced this anxiety firsthand and was able to get through the transition with advice from a good friend that I would like to share with you:
The emptiness you feel is natural. Having someone who relied on you suddenly plucked from your day-to-day life does cause a void, however, knowing that you did your part well in guiding and assisting to this point leaves only one last natural part of the process, letting go. With prayer and faith in God and knowing that you did your best now leaves God at the controls. Know that because you did your job well, your children will do their jobs too. Because you taught them well and gave them love, you will always be a part of them, and you will be a part of whatever they accomplish.

Children and loved ones move on, but they never leave you, and you never leave them. Remember the song lyrics from Sting, “If you love someone, set them free!”

The following prayer was shared with the parents of graduating seniors from Seton Hall Prep. It is a prayer that has helped me through some of the rough spots on more than one occasion and I hope it will do the same for you.

Loving God,
Be present with us during this time of transition,
A time of letting go, a time for spreading wings.
Send down Your blessing upon our children beginning college.
Let there be loving friendships, new challenges, and rich opportunities to grow in wisdom, age and grace.
Help them to grow in their faith and to become the person You created them to be.
Be their source of strength and support, guidance and protection.
Send down your blessing upon us as parents.
Help us to live with the anxiety that comes with letting go and to trust in Your divine plan.
Let there be joy in future accomplishments, a deepening commitment to all You call us to as parents, and patient love and support from afar until we celebrate the homecomings.
Be our source of strength and support, guidance and protection.


Let go and let God!

Deacon Nick Veliky

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