FROM THE PASTOR’S DESK
My Dear Parishioners
Jesus’ teaching on the Church in Matthew 18 begins with two important realities: reconciliation and forgiveness. Last week the Gospel reading focused on reconciliation. Today, it turns to the other side of the coin: forgiveness. Jesus’ teaching answers three simple questions: How many times do I have to forgive? What does it mean to forgive? And why forgive?
Peter walks up to Jesus and asks, “If my brother sins against me, how often must I forgive? As many as seven times?” Peter thinks he is being generous. But Jesus responds, “Not seven times but seventy-seven times.” This isn’t a debate about mathematics. Jesus is saying: forgive always.
Jesus’ reference to seven and seventy-seven is intentional. The only other place in Scripture where these numbers appear close together is Genesis 4, in the story of Lamech. Earlier in the chapter, Cain murders his brother Abel and then goes off to found his own city founded on this way of being human. His descendants, then, gradually descend further into violence. We are told that Lamech, the seventh generation (a sign of the “fullness” or “completion” of this descent) boasts about killing a young man who had challenged him: “I didn’t just give seven times the vengeance—I’m Lamech—seventy-seven times the vengeance!”
Whatever forgiveness is, it is incredibly counter to our nature. We are used to living according to the logic of “Cain’s city”: you do something to me, I get you back. Jesus’ reference, then, to Cain’s city reminds us how old this dynamic is. If we are going to be part of God’s kingdom—if we are going to leave Cain’s city and this old way of being human—things are going to have to change.
So, what does Jesus mean by forgiveness?
Jesus teaches us with a parable. A servant owes his master an enormous debt—ten thousand talents, an amount so large that it could never be repaid. The master, moved with compassion, forgives the entire debt.
But that same servant immediately encounters a fellow servant who owes him a much smaller amount. Though the man begs for patience, the servant refuses and has him thrown into prison. When the master hears what happened, he says, “I forgave you your entire debt. Shouldn’t you have done the same?”
The language of the parable is that of debt. The Greek word for “forgive,” aphiemi, means “to release, to let go, to drop.” Forgiveness means releasing someone from the debt they owe you.
When someone wrongs us, they are, in a sense, “in our debt.” There are two ways out: the person who wronged you can “pay”—which is justice—or you can “pay,” absorbing the debt yourself. This is forgiveness.
It sounds like a strange idea. Why would you do that? Because in God’s kingdom, mercy becomes our new natural reaction. In the city of Cain, unbridled revenge is the name of the game. In God’s city? Unbridled mercy.
It is also important to notice what Jesus does not mean by forgiveness. Forgiveness does not mean allowing someone to continue walking all over you. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing. Reconciliation is a two-way street. If someone sins against you, reconciliation requires that they own up what they have done, repent, and change. Forgiveness does not mean pretending things are back to normal. Restoration is a separate matter. Jesus commands us to forgive; he cannot command reconciliation, because reconciliation is not entirely within our control.
But why should we forgive?
We could talk about the psychological reasons: resentment and unforgiveness are poisonous to us, and holding onto anger often punishes us as much as anyone else. Those things are true and important. But there is a deeper reason.
Can you think of a moment in Jesus’ life when he was being hurt, and he chose to forgive? On the Cross, Jesus prays, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” Here Jesus is being sinned against—through a sham trial, false charges and an unjust execution—and he prays that God would forgive.
On the Cross, Jesus enters into solidarity with the human condition of sin and violence. He is living in the fullness of “Cain’s city.” If he were operating according to its logic, he would have fought back. Instead, he forgives. Why? Because he knows how God’s Kingdom works. The Father will make it right. The Resurrection is the promise and proof of that.
As disciples, then, every moment in which we are called to forgive becomes our own participation in the life of Christ and in the Cross. Everyone wants to say that being a Christian is about loving God and loving our neighbor—and that is true. But this is where the “love your neighbor” rubber hits the road: Do you love them enough to forgive them?
It is easy and natural to live in Cain’s city. To live in God’s Kingdom is something else. God forgives us as we forgive others. So don’t be stingy with forgiveness.
Ask yourself: Do I love my neighbor enough to forgive them?
Peace,
Fr. Monteleone
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